Freaking Out

For the past few days, I've been slowly but surely freaking out. This is a higher level than a mere self-doubt. A complete and full freak out.

It's about chapter 10, you see. Yet another chapter, as I was trying to work it out, seemed to be more than one chapter. I actually started thinking maybe it should be three chapters. Three!

And then I thought, if this keeps happening, maybe I should write in the third person rather than first person. Which would mean a complete rewrite. Rewriting everything!

But splitting it up into three chapters, or switching perspectives, would not only defeat the purpose of just writing until the story is finished, but also push everything ahead. If I wrote three chapters, or rewrote everything, for the purpose of finishing one chapter, I'd never finish this. At least, that's how it felt to me.

Too many ideas!

But then I realized it just wasn't needed. Sure, I could write tons more, and maybe I will, but AFTER I've at least completed the skeleton of the story. Fleshing it out can always happen later.

I'm still panicking a bit, but I'm calming down. It's only chapter 10 after all, and I've outlined roughly 25-30 chapters. In a lot of ways, I'm still at the beginning. Maybe when I'm at the halfway point, I can make decisions like splitting up chapters, though it would be best to wait until the story is complete, as in has a beginning, middle and end, before making such decisions.

One step at a time. *nods*

This is why I feel outlines are important. In essence, I do already have a finished book with a beginning, middle and end. It's just in the form of an outline. So really, no need to panic or freak out (though I do it anyway). I just have to remind myself I already have a book and it's just a matter of writing it out, putting one word after another. That's all.

No more freaking out.

Really.

I'm okay.